Yesenia's Journey in Chad, Africa
Serving as a Student Missonary through La Sierra University at Bere Adventist Hospital from August 2015 to June 2016.
"...because he has anointed me to preach the Gospel to the poor; he has sent me to heal the brokenhearted..." Luke 4:18
0 Comments
Devastated.
I am devastated and that is an understatement. I haven't been talk to really anyone because no one seems to understand. New mission, be happy, trust God, everything happens for a reason, don't be sad, and my favorite move on. I am sick and tired of hearing all of the above because I can't just move on. If you are reading this and have no idea what I am talking about let me explain. Vianay and I were serving as missionaries at the Bere Adventist Hospital in Chad, Africa. We had so many ideas for this coming year and we were just getting started. We wanted to go to different villages and have bible studies, villages that are illiterate and have never heard the name Jesus. We were going to teach English at the Seventh Day Adventist School next door. I wanted to start a clothing program to give out cloths to the naked children. I was just starting to get involved in the local church and its community. I became a part of my family whom I was living with while I stayed there. They fed me, gave me a roof over my head, and accepted me as part of their family, and shared the little they had with me so I could feel at home. Last Saturday (or I would like to call it, disappointment day) I had received a text from Linda our missions coordinator that she would like to speak to both Vianay and I as soon as we were together. I had just come back from teaching two villages (nondurae and casade) their Sabbath school. This Sabbath school went really well and the kids and adults who were present got involved. I was actually supposed to talk to the chief of the village of nondurae about building a church in their village (one of my dreams). I came back from my Sabbath school and waited in our SM hut at the hospital, waiting for Vianay to get back so we could talk to Linda together. I didn't think anything of it. At most I thought we had a new assignment at the hospital or Linda needed us to give an update to missions but boy was I wrong. Vianay comes back from teaching her Sabbath school and she takes a seat across from me in the SM hut. We call Linda on WhatsApp and begin to chat; it was so good to hear from her. She asked how we were doing and how was everything and we excitedly told her what we were experiencing at Bere, and the scenery and how beautiful it is there. But then things took a turn for the worst. Linda slowly and calmly said she has to tell us something very important. I will never forget the words, "girls you’re going to be evacuated from Chad." Her words cut me like a knife; I felt as if I got punched in the stomach and got all the wind knocked out of me, I even gasped for air. I exclaimed, "What?" I almost fainted and I told vianay I was about to faint and she hurried to give me salt. (Those who know me know I have a fainting history.) Linda explained how the US state department sent out an email to all volunteers in Chad asking for an evacuation because Chad was in danger of becoming dangerous. After Linda's explanation I began to sob. I just broke everything inside of me broke and I couldn't put into words how I was feeling. All I could think about was my family who I was staying with all the people there whom I've come to love and how unfair this all was. And I sat there and I cried. I cried long and hard, I don't think I've cried that hard since my first heartbreak in high school and even then I didn't cry as much as I did now. I couldn't breathe I felt like I was supplicating but I could not stop crying. I am leaving what I began to call home. Saturday, we had to leave Bere Tuesday morning and leave on a plane Wednesday. The next few days were a Rollercoaster of emotions from then on. We kept getting new information and a place to relocate everything was somewhat a big blur I couldn't really think straight. All I kept asking Linda was if we had the option to come back. There was no danger in Bere much less Chad itself nothing was happening that is why I was so frustrated and confused. Linda said we still had the option to return to Chad if the state department says yes, the GC, and doctors, if they all said yes, we could return to Chad to finish what we started. So that was the hope that kept me going the next few days. The day that conversation took place there was a lot to think about, such as where to relocate, packing, saying goodbye. That Sabbath I kept getting messages if I was ok, regarding my safety. Of course, I was ok, nothing was happening, that is what I didn't understand. We were completely safe in Bere no one was panicking, or hiding, everyone was going about their day as regular. I didn't really answer anyone, I actually haven’t talked to anyone really since then, I know they won't understand. Everyone thinks it's so easy leaving, following what "God" wants. Everyone is so sure that this was God's will. I just didn't want to hear it. No one will ever understand unless they experience the real thing. That Sabbath me, Vianay, Rachel, and Melissa (the other missionaries there with us) all decided to go swim at the hippo river. Swimming there made it hard to believe this was really happening. I also went to the river because I did not want to face my family; I did not want to reassure what they heard in church that day that I was leaving. I thought I could swim it all away. If I swam long enough, we wouldn't have to leave, but, I was wrong. I went back that evening to find my family all waiting for me under their mosquito net. I went under and sat with my little brothers and sisters, they all stared at me with very solemn looks on their faces, their eyes filled with questions. This was very unusual for my family they were so happy and laughing all the time, but this made everything harder. Finally, John, my brother who speaks and understands the most English asked me why I was leaving. I looked down at my palms opened in my crises cross position on the floor and wondered the same question. In his question I heard everything else, "you were supposed to teach English at school, start a church in nondurae, start bible studies with the youth, help us, you were supposed to help us, and now I'm leaving." John's voice with the same questions broke my train of thought I had gotten lost in. I looked him in the eye and told him, "I don't want to leave you." He looked away and asked again why. I felt as if my lungs began to collapse and I was struggling to breath. Every breath more of a struggle than the last. I explained to my family that I had to leave because I couldn't disobey the GC orders. They didn't really understand, they kept saying sorry and that Chad wasn't a bad place and I knew that. Chad is not a bad place at all. I began to cry and my family began to cry and we all just cried. At the time I didn't know where I was being relocated all I knew am I wanted to come back. As the days went by we kept getting information on the situation. Apparently this evacuation email was supposed to be sent out 3 months ago when some bombings took place in D'jamena the capital city (which is 8 hours away from Bere). Then they said this email was a government error by the US state department and that is not what the US embassy had asked for and they did not even acknowledge the ambassador of Chad to send this email. Then they said when the bombings took place in the capital, some people who worked there as missionaries etc. we're then on lock down on their compound. They could no longer serve the city or their community so they did not like that and appealed to the US embassy to have a government order so they can leave the country. But only the US state department can issue a notice such as that and so the US embassy appealed that for those people to the US state department 3 months ago. Then the US state department sends out an evacuation order which is not what the US embassy had asked for. So this whole thing is just a huge mistake. There is absolutely no civil unrest going on in Chad. I was completely safe in Bere and as I made my way to the capital to leave Chad there was absolutely no civil unrest and nothing to fear, we were the only missionaries leaving. Red Cross and other organizations thought we were crazy because we were leaving because nothing was happening in Chad. Our hands were tied especially since I am a student missionary through the GC. GC rules is if we disobey an evacuation order we are uninsured, so we had to leave even if nothing was happening in Chad. So my next few days were a rollarcoastar of emotions. The day I cried with my family I let them talk to my family in America and they loved it, I just wanted to make them happy, just one more time. The day I found out I also had to choose a place to relocate. My mind wasn't focusing I just wanted to know I could come back so I didn't care where I went, at first. The thing was we had to decide that day; I had no idea what to pick. I had options I'm Africa and options to go to the Marshall Islands. So Vianay and I picked Chuuk, I've heard it was poor but I wasn't thinking. I've never ever ever ever wanted to come and serve at the islands. I promised myself I would never come, plus it's small and I have a fear of tsunamis. But, the next morning when I changed my mind and wanted to go to Tanzania it was too late. So I was stuck and I cried again because I was now going somewhere I never wanted to go. As Tuesday came closer, the day we had to drive to the capital the fact that I was really leaving didn't seem real. I hadn't come to terms that I wouldn't hear the thunder at night anymore, thunder so loud it fills the night sky as if the voice of God could be heard. I will never hear the sound of the rain beat against my tin roof, as if it was going to make the roof collapse on me. I was not going to witness the lightening, lighting up the night sky as if someone flipped on a switch too quickly. I will no longer get to sit under the stars with my family every night as we talked and played games. I can no longer stare for long moments at the magnitude of all the stars, so close I thought I could reach up and grab one. I will no longer walk home and be greeted by my youngest brothers and sisters running to me to welcome me home. I will no longer be woken up every morning at 5:00am to the sound of Brya my eldest sister beginning to prepare breakfast by clinging the pots and pans. I will no longer hear all my siblings scream at the youngest Barthamae because he would ruin their game, but since he is the baby he will always get his way. I can no longer hear the engine of my Father Emmanuels moto as he pulled into our gate and hear all of my brothers and sister run to greet him. I will no longer be greeted by every single person I pass with a handshake and a "bonjur, sava" or "lapia." I will no longer stay awake. With my family playing games, singing songs, or listening to John laugh until he can't breathe. I will no longer see naked children anywhere and them running up to me screaming "NASARA" as I pass by. I will no longer be annoyed with all the cows blocking the road as me and papa tries to make our way on the moto to teach Sabbath school. I will no longer be proposed to by the government officials or men in the market who mean no harm and only joking. I will no longer have to sneak pictures of people trying to catch the perfect photo. I will no longer be at home. Bere, the home I came to love with all my heart. Is it wrong I wanted to stay there forever? Is it wrong that I liked their way of life better than the individualistic lifestyle I grew up in? Is it wrong that I've never seen Jesus the way I did when I was amongst these people? Now, now it's all being taken away from me at a drop of a dime. I've seen beauty I was not capable of seeing in America. I lived life and lived it more abundantly. These people taught me material things really aren’t worth anything. These people taught me life is not promised and to take advantage of every opportunity. These people taught me to appreciate family, and love. These people taught me how important it is to depend on God every single moment of every single day. These people taught me more about life in one month than I have learned in twenty years. They also taught me how important the hope of the Gospel beings they shout Maranatha. Maranatha means, "The Lord is coming." These people hang onto this hope like never before because they know what it is to have nothing and have Christ promise you everything. They cling to that hope, a hope that can't be learned in a capitalistic society which teaches you material things are everything, and a hope I was never exposed to in America where the comforts of life are at the tips of my fingers. The day I had to say goodbye to my family I cried again. I hugged each one of them as tight and as long as I could. I let the tears roll as I choked out I love you for each one. They returned in broken English I love you too. My mother Sidonee father Emmanuel, siblings John, Brya, Angriette, Abrye, Barthamae, Yagoo, James, Liba, Kumageon, they will always be my family. I hope that the evacuation status is removed so I may return to Chad this year that is my hope and prayer. But, I can't help but wonder why this all happened. The most frustrating part is I left people who are in such need, over a government mistake? I might be wrong but that is what the story is I have heard so far. Whenever I am asked why I was I evacuated, I am quickly confronted with the question, "was there civil war?" No, there was no civil war! Then why, ultimately, why did we leave? I can't answer that question. I am here in Chuuk now and Vianay and I are the only Americans here. This place is more developed than was the place in Africa and as we ate in a restaurant the first day I almost broke down. I almost broke down because there was American food and the place looked American. It was just so much stuff that I didn't have in Africa and I was just overwhelmed with emotions, I don't really know why but I hated it the restaurant and the food, I felt guilty that I can have this new luxury that wasn't accessible to me in Africa. But I didn't know how ignorant I was of the poverty of the islands. The island of Chuuk is extremely poor. Not like the poverty I've seen in Chad but a different kind of poverty. And I just thought why doesn't more people know how great the need is I'm Chuuk and in Chad? How come no one stands for those who cannot speak? How come these people are like outcast when I go back home, as if they don't exist and as if they’re not in need? How come the American Society who is so capable of changing the world, but doesn't? The need for missions and missionaries is great, greater than I've ever really understood until now. My prayer is God help the outcast. It's hot. As the sweat drips down my forehead I am nudged to pray. Pray? Me? Yes, go pray. I go before the congregation and try to see over the white painted, wooden podium. I stand on my tip toes to see their faces, and everyone burst into laughter. Of course, the Nasara is too short that is why they are laughing. I proceed, to bow my head as I feel all their eyes glued to my every move. I say a quick prayer and move swiftly back to my seat on stage. Beside the deconness, there I sat between all the men who were the elders of the church. I sat where the Pastor usually sits. As I sat next to Dr. Olen (he was going to be translating for me), I sat sweating, anticipating the moment I will stand up and preach the sermon for our small Adventist church in Bere.
Let me rewind, for Sabbath I am ready by 7:30 am to go teach sabbath school in two other villages. By the time I am done with that and return back to Bere, it is a bit over 9:30am. Usually I wait a bit and attend the church service which starts at about 10:30am. As I returned from sabbath school and am waiting in our SM hut, Dr. Olen comes in and says, so whose preaching today? In the middle of tying my head wrap I stop and look at him very confused and say, "I don't know." He continues, "well whose preaching today?" The question is directed at me and Vianay, I felt more pressure towards me since I am known as the "Theology" major here. And Vianay and I looked at each other a bit confused. And I look at Olen and ask, "are you joking?" He quickly says, "Nope." He explains how the pastor had double booked himself and left so someone had to do it. I said yes, and he said great and he was gone. At that moment I broke into a sweat and began to think, and think fast. I've had ideas of what I would like to preach but never put anything together, not yet at least. I had one hour to put together a sermon for the church. So I take my Bible and a notebook and leave to my room at my family's house so I could be alone. I sit there for a good ten minutes just thinking. Then I pray. I pray for guidence, mor guidence, and the Holy Spirit. The idea that kept popping into my head was, "Get up." I wish I had more time to prepare but I had to work with what I had. In my personal devotions I have been reading the book of Acts. So that was fresh in my head and so was the story of Paul. Paul's life is truely amazing and if you ever get the chance to spend time reading the book of Acts I would encourage you to do so. When Paul is hit with a light on the Road to Damascus he is confronted with the voice of Jesus. Jesus asks him, "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?" But, what got me is when Paul was down, Jesus told him to "get up." And before Paul meets Annanias, Jesus tells him to "get up" as well. I said in my sermon, when you're down get up because Jesus knows where he wants you to go. But I think the most important part of Paul's conversion is the why he was converted? Why? Why, did Paul so easily obey the voice of Jesus? The reason is because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Paul was not converted out of fear, but he was converted because there is power in the name of Jesus. There is power because everyone is made right with God through Jesus. Jesus is our advocate. Jesus joins us in suffering and death so we may join him in communion with his Father. That is done through grace. Not because of a man, or a pastor, or a congregation, or the Seventh day Adevntist church, or Ellen white, NO! We are not made right by following the church handbook, or living a perfect Christian life, or following the rules, or obedienece, none of that makes us right with God. The ONLY thing that makes us right with God is the blood of Jesus, that is it, case closed. That, my friends is the Gospel of Grace. We can come to church run down, beat up, drunk, drugged out, in a gang, a failure. We can come to church like Paul, and we are saved because of the good grace of Jesus. But you see this is often heard but not believed, taught but not practiced, preached but not applied. Because the word grace itself has lost its meaning. We don't understand what it feels like most of the time because we don't believe nor understand the depth of the Gospel of grace. I felt compelled to preach this because last sabbath a woman was taken up front and humiliated in front of the church because she had sex before marriage. (I know absurd) So, I tried to jam pack this in like 45 minutes before I had to be at church. I would like to pose a question. What is the point of preaching a sermon? Is it to bring a crowd to tears? To have everyone stand up for an alter call? To play on people's emotions for an hour? To have people think long and hard about how messed up they are and need Jesus? To have 50 people baptized? What is the point, if most of the time nothing changes.... and everything becomes so repetitive. Even at home, I'll hear a great sermon, and then everyone walks out the same as they walked in. They walk out as if they did not just here power! They walk out as if they didn't just here the good news of Jesus Christ. I know so many Christians who are scared for their salvation! To be unsure of salvation is not the Gospel but the exact opposite. To be sure of salvation, the gift of eternal life that is the Gospel truth being practiced in one's faith. Once one gets a hold of the truth you can't contain it! That's why Paul became one of the greatest missionaries there ever was because he couldn't contain the Gospel of grace he was exposed to. Although people thanked me for my words I felt empty. I felt as if the people still didn't believe and that broke my heart. I could be wrong. I just don't want things to go about as normal... as ordinary. I want to see a revolution, here, even at home. The Gospel is alive. What is the point of sermons if there is no change in our lives. What is the point of sermons if there's no change in our communites. What is the point of sermons if there's no change in our cities, countries, in our world! The Gospel has the power to turn this world upside down, we just have to believe it. The kingdom of heaven must come first. Jesus prayed, "thy kingdom come" I believe we are still here to portray the kingdom of heaven. But people may argue, I'm too busy, life's hard, where's God when I need him? Why do.bad things still happen, why doesn't God do something about the evil in the world? I stopped asking God why he doesn't do anything about the evil in this world, because I'm afraid he'll ask me the same thing. The need is great here in Chad. As you all have read in my previous post we need contributions to help the people here. Vianay and I will be working in the Seventh Day Adventist Academy next door to the hospital. We will be teaching English and Bible. Many of the children here in the community cannot go to school due to poverty and lack of funds. This is the only school within miles so many children are not educated. No child should ever be robbed of their education. Education is knowledge and knowledge is freedom. If you feel in your heart to make that difference the information to donate is provided below and all donation are tax deductible. I am writing this because many have wanted to contribute and now here is how. Please share with as many people as possible. Anyone can make a difference, so let's make one. " You have done it to the least of these, you have done it to me." Make that change. Donations can be made to: www.whyweshouldgo.blogspot.com There is a donation option. Non-profit and 100% of donation goes directly to the funds. Make sure to write in the NOTES section #LSUmissionaries Also if you are interested in making money contributions to pay for a child's Christian education it is $40 to send a child here to school for one year. This includes Tuition for the year, school supplies and Uniform. If your contribution will like to be made for a child's education in the note section simply write: #LSUmissionaries FOR CHRISTIAN EDUCATION All contributions can be made through www.whyweshouldgo.blogspot.com Checks can be made out to: Comfort Ministries. Reality hit me like a brick today.
August 17, 2015 I turned 20 years old; Vianay and I helped with the giving program they have every Monday. This program started by Kim helping 4 or 5 people and it has grown ever since. Now more than 80 people who are old, sick, and with children, gather outside of the hospital gate so they might get a bag. One of the bags contains rice, beans, and a bar of soap so that they can use to wash and to do laundry and many other things. We packed the bags hoping for a good outcome. We kept packing the bags, but we began to run out of each item. First, we ran out of beans so we continued to pack with rice and a bar of soap. Then, we ran out of soap, but we still had people waiting for something. Pretty soon we were just packing bags of rice to give to the people. Soon we ran out of rice too. I went outside to help give out the bag. We only had 20 bags left and there was a lot more than 20 people. Papa, one of the guys who translates to the people and helps with the program said we had to choose who to give the last 20 bags to. I couldn't do it. More than 40 people left some with children, all very old, sick, and starving. I couldn't choose. Right when I was about to help choose who got the bags I made eye contact with a little girl about the age of four leading her blind grandmother to the front of the crowd. She looked at me with big glossy eyes with her dirty head wrap and her brown tattered clothes. All she did was stare, and her stare ate at my soul. How could I tell her to come back next week? I couldn't. As I stared back into her eyes, I felt a tear run down my cheek. I quickly turned and walked away as my eyes filled with tears and a lump grew in my throat. I had to walk away because as my eyes grew full with tears, I knew I couldn't break down and cry. My heart grew heavy and for a moment I felt so, so helpless. We had run out of food and who am I to say who gets a bag and who doesn't. They are all practically starving and some cannot work due to illnesses and old age. And some of these people have young children who are their grandchildren and they're hungry too. I had to say, "we ran out of food, I'm sorry come back next week." These people were depending on this for the week so they can survive to the next week. It didn't help that there was no line so we couldn't tell who got there first. All I could say is my heart broke, and I couldn't do anything to help these people. That just made me think of the hardship and suffering we are not exposed to in America. How sheltered we really are. How individualistic my society made me. How ignorant I was to the idea of hunger. But to help we need money. Of course, everyone needs money. You know that one saying, Money makes the world go round. Well it's sad but the harsh reality of it, is it is true. Everything requires money! I wish I was rich so I could give it all away. I wish I had the funds to meet the basic needs of these poor people. But I don't and I probably never will. And it's true the rich will continue to get richer (the American dream right?) and the poor will continue to get more poor. For example one of my idols Michael Jackson won the humanitarian award due to his charities and giving. Of course, he did great work in regards of service but he was filthy rich. One of the few who contribute to needy causes. I just got angry not at anyone really but I couldn't do anything, and I can't stop it either. What ended up happening is Vianay picked the people who would get the last bags, no one wanted to be the one to do it and I know that was very hard on her. We plan to develop a more strategic way of doing this every week. I've never seen so much pain and need. I was truely at a loss for words. One can only minister so much and give hope so much but needs need to be meet. I know all we need is Jesus but what do I say when I have nothing to give a starving person? Today, was one of the toughest experience I've ever had. I am sorry to burden you all with such sad thoughts but that is the reality of it here. People are hungry, sick, and dying and we need funds to meet they're needs. Please feel free to donate... doesn't take much to change a life of someone here with spare change... literally. But I understand the thoughts of Americans in a individualistic society. I understand even trying to make a living in America, it's hard. The harsh reality is life is hard. But, we must love and help one another. Have Joy. Jesus first, others second, you last. But I don't mean to guilt or make anyone feel bad, I am simply just sharing my thoughts after my experience today. Please love me enough if I am wrong as well. I am learning here, definitely learning. I just wish I could do more, and never have to turn any one away. On a different note Chadian Dating 101: Walking back from the market with one of our new friends who shall remain nameless (He also kindly translates for Vianay and )he sees a girl in a distance, and says that's his girlfriend. Mind you, having girlfriends and boyfriends isn't something that is public and should be kept secret. He then goes and talks with her for a bit and walks with her for less than five minutes then they go their separate ways. It was the cutest thing I had ever seen. They both couldn't stop smiling as they talked to one another. As the went their separate ways Vianey and I couldn't help but to ohh and ahh our friend. Our friend made us promise to keep this a secret but he shared with us his love for her. He only sees her in spurts at a time every week or so. He wants to have a job and finish school before anything too serious. He explained if one likes a girl they must go to her house and talk with her father in terms of marriage. Since he is not ready yet, it is kept secret and they see each other for a few minutes for weeks at a time. It was such a beautiful thing. Chadian love. That is how relationships go here. Vianay and I have gotten proposed to already but we don't understand and our translator quickly pulls us away. I don't have any camals or cows to offer anyways! Kidding, only kidding. Although the missionaries celebrated my birthday with cake and ice cream a day before, that is how I spent my real birthday. Hey I turned 20 in Africa that is pretty cool, and I actually share my birthday with one of my new sisters in my family; her name is Briya. She is a beautiful, smart, young girl, and she just turned 16. For a gift I gave her my prettiest skirt I brought here it was brand new too. She loved it and that is what made my birthday so special. My identity has been transformed. August 5th, 2015, I was no longer Yesenia Sosa, Mexican - American, 19 years old, from Skyline, San Diego, California. No longer the straight A student in H.M.S Richards Divinity School at La Sierra University. No longer Rabbi. (Shout out to my friends at La Sierra.) No longer Tony's little sister (a disclaimer I had attached to me since childhood well through out high school. ) I was no longer Isaiah's girlfriend, lil sinna, tuis roommate. None of the above was no longer attached to my identity. Now I am The American.
I soon began to realize this, as Vianay and I boarded our terminal at the Ethiopian airport. We sat closer than usual as we were the only two girls on our terminal surrounded by men all over 6 feet, dark skin, and dressed in Arabian/Muslim clothing. Not only were we the only woman but we are white, we are small, and we only speak English. Oh yeah, and we're American. All I kept thinking was Lord give us traveling mercies and my mother's words of per caution kept ringing in the back of my head. We boarded our plane to Chad, and there was no turning back now. All I kept think at that point was about our luggage we had no idea if it had gotten to Chad because we were instructed to get our luggage in Ethiopia. We couldn't do that because in order to get luggage one must have a visa for Ethiopia which we didn't. So by faith we boarded hoping it went to Chad. My plan was, land, go through immigration, and find luggage! That's exactly what we did... sort of. We landed and then we just followed the crowd. The capital D'jamena looks a lot like T.J except much, much, more poor and not many buildings, and no paved roads.So, I stepped off the plane and the hot humid air hit me like a brick, I didn't really care I was so focused on finding my luggage, (my bug tent was in there, I was determined to find that luggage! ). So as me and Vianay followed the crowd into immigration we had no idea what we were doing. Everyone was filling out this little card which was in French and we filled it out as best we could. The airport didn't look like an airport just an old little beat up, broken down building. Immigration is this little muggy room where you can smell every body and they mommas armpits. Bugs everywhere, it wasn't the sweetest welcoming. Anyways we just wanted to be allowed into the country so we could get our luggage! Of course, be missionaries as well. So we made it through immigration and then we went into this tiny room where the luggage carousel was and then played the waiting game. But immediately, the workers who help the people get they're luggage wanted to help us. I'll tell you why, we are white, we are American that means we have money, meaning they were expecting a Fat tip. I really didn't care we needed help and I just wanted to get my luggage. So since I over packed... we needed a lot of help. I didn't understand why these men were helping us so much until I got outside and another man was helping me with the rest of my luggage. As the second man came out with me the first man who was helping us began to fight to help me with the rest of my things. The two men started arguing in french I believe and all I understood was American. Then it all made sense, they were so helpful because since I was American I had money and I would tip them. Well that wasn't the case. I am not a rich American (according to American Standards) and I had no money on me to tip them anyways. But Zach, another missionary here who picked us up from the airport took care of that little problem for me. Next day, we headed on a bus to Kélo Chad, an hour give or take away from Béré, where I am now living. In total were 8 hours from the capital. One important thing I learned on the bus ride to bere, CAMERAS/PICTURES ARE ILLEGAL IN CHAD, period. Well I am here in Béré now and the scenery is absolutely breath taking and that is an understatement. But I am constantly reminded that I am The American. First night I ate dinner along side my new family. I love my new family. They're hospitality is amazing and they treat me like a queen and they feed me like a KING. Seriously, they feed me so much and the food is so good. There were many rumors that the food would be nasty but that is a LIE, the food is, for lack of a better term, The Bomb. Anyways, first night my family pulled out they're best chair and a little white table so I could eat. Then, my new momma and my new brothers and sisters ate on one side of me and the men ate on the other side of me and I ate in the middle alone. I wondered why. When I asked Zach he had previously explained to me I am the "third sex." I am a woman so the men won't want to eat with me and the woman do not want to eat with me because "I am the special one, I am the missionary, I am the one who has come to help, I am The American." I understood and it's ok, I am slowly but surely gaining more love and trust from my new family. As I have been getting accustomed with my new home, I have had several wonderful experiences. I love the people here but I especially love the children. The children are so happy, so obedient, so humble, and so so pure. They laugh, laugh, and laugh some more. One of the sweetest sounds to the human ear. Vianay and I have had the opportunity to go out this week on Wednesday and Friday to give Bible Studies to two other villages. I had thought this would be teens or adults but to my surprise it was the children of these villages. As we rode on the motorcycle to these villages the children everywhere would scream Nasara, Nasara. I ignorantly thought that Nasara was a greeting (there are many greetings here) so I said it back to them. In return they would give me a strange, offended, confused look. So I would just keep walking. I finally asked what it meant, Nasara means white person/white people. Everything made a lot more sense now and I stopped saying it back. One of the villages named Non-Churray (sorry if the spelling is wrong), was so much fun. As we made our way into the village children came out of no where screaming Nasara, Nasara, and they ambushed our motorcycles. I couldn't stop laughing. We told them Bible stories and sang songs, and as we left they chased our motorcycles screaming, Nasara, Nasara. Although some might get annoyed with being reminded of how American they are, oddly I have embraced the name Nasara. Why would I mind, when the children mean no harm when they refer to me as Nasara? Yes I am Nasara, I am white, I am American. I am not ashamed to be who I am. Yes I want to fully embrace they're culture and I want to try to understand to the best of my ability to be a Chadian woman; but I will never pretend to mistake I know exactly how they feel because I don't. I bring to their table what I know but I will never be so ignorant to think what I know is all there is to know. I have so much to learn and I have been humbled by my experience so far. But today, was sabbath and their Pathfinder day. This was a big deal. When church was over the pathfinders marched all around the village singing and marching, so proud to be a pathfinder, so proud to be an Adventist, so proud to be a Christian. As the pathfinders marched all of the children followed behind singing and marching. Vianay and I joined in the commotion. As we marched we held the little hands of the little children. As we marched to the Pathfinder song I realized this is the Gospel story in action. God is continually revealing himself to me. This has been a great start to this new adventure. As I held hands with the children I have embraced my new identity. I am Nasara. Well, My name is Yesenia Sosa and this will be my blog speecifically for my stay in Africa. I will try my best to keep everyone updated on here.
Truth is I have never done a blog before or kept a journal. But, I know this is one of the best ways to keep everyone updated as I serve as a missionary in Chad. What I will be doing there from my knowledge is a vast varaity of things. I will be under the supervision of the Doctors in charge of the Bere Adventist Hospital there. I have been in communicatin with them through email and they seem like wonderful people. I have much respect for them as they along with their family have given their lives for the sake of serving others. That to me is astounding. If I could make any difference at all while I am overthere that would be all I could every ask for. I have always wanted to do this. Specifically in Africa. Wow, God sure does answer prayers. I will be going with my bestfriend Vianay. She has a blog as well, I'll be sure to mention it on here at some point. She is my sister, I am excited to go on this journey with her. I am suppose to depart August 3rd, and wow that came quickly. As the departure date is approaching I can't help but be filled with all kinds of emotions. I am excited, nervous, scared, sad, happy, excited. I really have no idea what to expect but God has been opening doors like crazzy. The process to go has been nothng short of smooth. I know that is all God. I give all the glory to God. Even as we have heard about the recent bombings in Chad, God has given nothing but peace to me and my family. Through this whole process God has given my family and I peace that passeth all understandings. I know God will be with me. When I am alone, I hear his still small voice saying, "I am always with you." Boy, that gave me chills but such peace. I am at peace with my decision to go and serve. I have no idea what to expeect but I am definitly nervouse. I know I believe in a God that lead Jonah to ninava, Saved three hebrew boys from a firery furnace, kept Daniel safe in the lions den, lead Esther to save Israel, helped David defeat Goliath, saved my brother Tony from pulmonary embalisms. God is good and he will never leave me nor forsake me. This is going to be hard but all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me. (Phillippians 4:13) May you all be blessed as you join me in my journey. I give all the Glory to God. |
CategoriesArchivs
November 2015
AuthorYesenia Sosa from San Diego,CA. I have a deep love for God and what he has done for me in my life. Because of Jesus love for me that has compelled me to show his love to others. I love my family,friends, and boyfriend Isaiah very much. I love school and I love to learn. I want to give myself in love and service, as Jesus did for me. Be blessed, never forget, you can do all things through Christ who Strengthens us. |